WHY DADS DANCE WITH THEIR DAUGHTERS

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The Dance2 Post Image

THE TEARS

My mom rarely cried. At least not in front of me. But when her tears did happen, a jolt of fear would race through my heart. Because if Mom cried, that meant something really, really bad must have happened.

But not this time.

This time was different. A little more than five years ago, my mom was feeling weak, but we didn’t know how sick she was. If we did, she wouldn’t have been driving. And I wouldn’t have been distracting her by singing my latest song.

I’m glad I didn’t know.

When I finished the song, that told the story of a dad dancing with his daughter, my mom’s tears glistened in her eyes and it was hard for her to talk. But she managed to say one sentence.

“That song is important.”

I’d never heard anything like that from my mom. We were both writers and storytellers. When critiquing each other’s work, we both chose honesty over flattery. Usually her comments were, “That’s good, but what about this…” Critiques never included tears. And they certainly never included words like important.

But I think I know why this moment was different. I think my song triggered a memory of an earlier conversation some months prior.

The words were few between us, but our talk landed firmly in my heart. I had told her why I loved my pastor. Pastor Jack Hayford was like a father to me, teaching me about God and how God wanted to be my father too.

She nodded.

After a moment she said that was the same reason why she loved Pastor Charles Stanley. Then her voice became quiet.

“Neither of us really had fathers, did we?”

It was true. While we both had dads, they were mostly absent from our lives when we were growing up. We needed them then, to help shape us into being the women God created us to be. And now, we were acknowledging, that even at our ages, we still needed a father’s touch in our lives.

THE DANCE

Ariana helping daddy with his tie post image2

Getting Ready For The Dance!

Though I grew up in church, I walked away from the things of God for many years. My return didn’t happen until my 30’s, when I discovered I could know God intimately, feeling and experiencing his love for me. But in the beginning I was a little awkward with his affection.

If I were to paint a picture of me with God at this time, it would be of a five year old girl in a party frock, dancing with her daddy.

She doesn’t miss a beat or a step of the dance, because she’s standing right on his toes. She thinks she won’t fall, because of how tightly she clings to his strong legs.

Ariana and Daddy kiss post imageShe hasn’t yet learned that no matter what, he’s not going to let her fall. But he wants to hold her too. So He removes her grasp from his legs, and puts her little hands in his big strong hands.

Today, the picture of the dance with my father has changed. Oh, I still get afraid sometimes and want to cling, or sometimes even pull away from God. But his love and faithfulness bring me back into his arms, so we can finish our dance.

 

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In this picture, our dance looks like the Father-Daughter dance at a wedding. I’m taller now and I don’t miss a step, because my head lies on his heart, listening to the beat of his love for me. I don’t fall; his hands secure mine in his strong, but gentle, grip.

While we dance, he whispers in my ear. I nod to all his words of wisdom and love. He speaks to me of my future and the good plans he’s made for me. In this most intimate of conversations, I know that the one who holds me is the one who knows me best. And because he knows everything about me, both the good and not so good, the beautiful and not so beautiful, I can trust him without holding back.

All traces of fear fall away and I am carried once again by the rhythm of his love.

The Dance3 post image

THE SONG

Below is the song I sang to my mom. It tells the story of why dads are so important to their daughters.

My mom’s desire, her prayer for me on that day, was that I would publish it. But I never have! I’m still not quite sure how to go about that. However, I can do what I know how to do.

I share it with you here.

ROLL THE CREDITS!

SONGWRITERS: I wrote, “I Will Hold Your Hand,” with a friend of mine, Michael Palmer.

SINGER: And that’s me doing the singing! 😀

CAST: THE BRIDE

Kimberly Bauer, the beautiful bride in the father-daughter dance gave me permission to use her photos, and share the look of incredible love we see on her dad’s face.

CAST: THE DAD

Keith Scheyving, you are amazing!

PHOTOGRAPHER

The wedding photographer is Ricardo Barrera, who is based in Orange County.

CAST: THE FIVE YEAR OLD GIRL AND HER DADDY

She’s my niece Ariana with her daddy Anthony. I get so much joy watching the two of them together.

MY OWN DAD

And finally, while I didn’t have my dad around as much as I needed when I was growing up, he’s been loving on me, his grownup daughter, SO MUCH. It is precious to me and I am blessed Buford Porter!

DO YOU WANT A COPY OF THE LYRICS?

All you have to do is one of two tasks: either share my blog post OR subscribe to my blog my email. Then write a note to me in my comments section and I will send you a PDF copy of the lyrics.

And finally, THANK YOU! For reading this!!!

Carla

 

Carla Porter writes, sings, designs architectural interiors and loves God, all in Los Angeles, California.

© 2016, Carla Porter and Whisper of Grace, all rights reserved. 

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, including images, music and writings, without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carla Porter and Whisper of Grace with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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20 responses to “WHY DADS DANCE WITH THEIR DAUGHTERS

  1. ❤❤❤❤❤

  2. Carla, this was very wonderful, I loved it and the pictures you used and your photo of you is very nice. You are a wonderful sister and a great singer and I wish we did know what was wrong with mom at the time she got sick but we didn’t and we think about it a lot . You are amazing and please be here with us for many yrs to come, the kids love and need you here as well as I do. Love be you sis. ❤️❤️

  3. Carla,
    Your voice is beautiful. If you have other songs I would love to hear them.
    I listen to your Mom’s pastor almost every morning. Can you send me the Lyrics to you beautiful song.

    P.S.
    I was near to dropping a tear.

    • Ah Phil, you are such a good dad. I’ve seen you mention your daughter so proudly on Facebook. Thank you for the compliment on my voice too. Anyone who sings can’t hear that enough. I’m sending you the lyrics! Also, though I have many songs, very few are recorded, especially for public consumption. Only rough recordings. But I’m fixing that! I’ll let you know when I have more. Thank you so much for your comment!

  4. Charlotte Neveu

    Thank you, Carla, for this beautiful blog. Through your story and your song, you have painted such a beautiful picture of our heavenly Father, how much He loves us and that we can trust Him.

    I love the pictures, too. The ones of Anthony and Ariana remind me of times with my dad when I was a little girl. Whenever he got a splinter in his hand (he was a carpenter), I was the “official” splinter-remover. Those moments were so tender and so special to me.

    Your voice is so beautiful! Can’t wait for you to publish more.

  5. Thank you Charlotte. And like I told Phil above, the truth is I can’t hear too many compliments on my voice. When I sing, I am vulnerable!

    But I in particular love the picture of you and your daddy that you just shared here! I hope more daughters share their experiences with their dads here. I would love that.

  6. Kathleen Cotton

    The words are beautiful and help give a picture of the Father’s love to us. I believe this was a direct download from God. You can hear His voice better than most people. Thanks for sharing.

    • It made me so happy to share this one. Thank you Kathy for your kind and beautiful encouragement. I’m glad I got to know your dad a little when I was growing up.

  7. Melody Carriere

    Carla,
    Thank you for this beautiful picture of a father’s heart of love for his daughter. Regardless of our earthly circumstances, we have a heavenly Father who is always there when we need Him, and because He is faithful and strong, He won’t let us fall, because His hands are always extended to hold us up.
    And I love your song, all the beautiful pictures too, and like everyone else said, your beautiful voice!!!

    • Thank you Melody!!!

      • Melody Carriere

        You’re very welcome Carla!

        This one of my favorite experiences with my Dad. I remember that I used to hear him singing all the time. He loved listening to country music on the radio, and singing his heart out. He had a very good voice!

        Well, I guess I naturally picked that up from him, because I also used to sing my heart out, along with my favorite songs on the radio, not country though. But, I took it a little further, by singing to the top of my lungs, in our frontyard, for all the neighbors and relatives to hear, whether they wanted to, or not (smile). Once, my Dad hid my favorite Supremes record from me, because I kept singing it over, and over, and over, because I was trying to memorize all the words to sing it. We used to laugh together about that.

        But, he must have liked my voice too, because he said he was going to send me on the biggest talent show on tv back then, Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour! That made me feel so special in his eyes, because I thought he felt that I could actually win on the show! I cherish that memory of a shared talent, with my precious Dad!!!

  8. CynthiaaBlackwell

    Carla,
    Testimonies such as this helps us to better comprehend the depth, width, length, and height of the love of God which passes knowledge so that we may be filled with the fullness of God. The song the Lord gave you is indeed important and your voice is exquisite.

  9. Dearest sweet, loyal, wonderful, deep friend, Carla. Oh, how I lament at not having drafted something sooner than this! I wanted to wait so that I could really pay homage to you with your celebration of fathers. I thank you so much for honoring two of mine who are SO near and dear to my heart: my husband, Keith L. Scheyving and my daughter, my firstborn, Kimberly Anne Bauer! <3 <3 <3 This blog post is such a blessing to me and I am sure that it will be such a blessing to every single person who reads this blog, who sees the photos which contain SO much love! I wish that you could know, really know, just how much you have touched me, my heart and mind–not just with this post but with your very presence in my life. There are times that obligations and pressures may delay me from expressing my feelings for you, your incredibly prolific talent and essence BUT always KNOW that my love for you never wavers and never ends. You have blessed us all just for knowing you. God bless you. May God RICHLY bless you, Carla. I love you,
    Veronica

    • Oh Veronica!!! You know how to BLESS ME!!! It was the most natural thing in the world to seek out photos of your husband and your daughter. I KNEW that what I needed to see in their faces would be there. And I was right. I love you and thank you for these words. I now have to keep this blog forever, so I can continue to visit them.

  10. Danetta Claybrook

    Wow! Carla, you are truly a gifted writer and singer! Your words spoke to my heart as I reminisced about my own father who was in my life but is elderly now and no longer able to get around without assistance…. I also thought of my own kids and hope they feel loved, safe and happy as every child should….Thank you for being so candid and sharing a deep part of you…Your sharing touched my heart, life and has provoked a desire in me to see my dad more while he is alive and love on him as he loved me. He was a great dad and did so much for us five kids! Your song is also a great reminder for my husband and myself to spend more time loving our kids! They grow up so fast, time is so short, and “life” effects a child in ways we could not imagine….Love you much! Your sister in Christ, Danetta

    • Danetta, you are SO my sister! Thank you for sharing with me that what I wrote and sang made a bit of difference. THIS means much to me. I love you too.

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